Netflix Comments

By Sam Axelrod



The following are Netflix “Member Reviews.” In the old days each customer had a user name but in the curious path the site has taken to un-socialize the place, all reviewing is now anonymous. Internet commenting will always be a fascinating business, but surely these are highlights. Each review is meticulously copy and pasted; all typos are 100% sic.

“Indie”

GREENBERG (2010)
This movie is about an angry white guy who moves to LA and has a relationship with a white woman with self-esteem issues. They have jobs in this tough economy, so why is he so angry and why does she have self-esteem issues.

COLD WEATHER (2010)
Is there a genre of movie that tries to be artsy so hard that it is just hopelessly boring and pointless? Don't get me wrong, I love artsy. I read the best in literature, enjoy fine art and see all the well done movies. This one tries to be so un-action-adventure and so un-Hollywood that it just is nothing at all. Another film in this same genre: Guy and Madeline on a Park Bench, also one star.

THE FUTURE (2011)
Clever and creative. Miranda July has an unique mind. Is it 'an unique'? It doesn't sound right.

NOBODY WALKS (2012)
Having previously gushed out praise for writer Lena Dunham and her great TV series GIRLS, I chose this. Giving her benefit of the doubt, uh, um I'm guessing she [co] wrote this when she was 13 or tweaked it for the other writer. My reaction echoes all others giving this 2 or less stars. Sad, becausecast is filled with people I like. I now vow to never add another Indie flick - even if I'm in it or wrote it.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN (2011)
THIS IS WHY I HATE INDIE MOVIES!!!!! so im waiting to see what kevin does, and (Spoilers) he kills a gym full of kids, but it only shows a minute of it. So the mom gets treated like crap for her son, then they meet up in prison 2 years later, and she asks him y he did it. And he says I don't know!!!!! then they hug!!!!! then she just walks out and the movie goes off!!!!!!!!! I hate these hipstery film that 'Don't have a point maaan'!

Foreign

CERTIFIED COPY (2010)
First off this site should re-do their rating system, I mean I think 2 stars is like poor, meaning i liked some aspects, but overall was dissappointed. I wouldnt say i didnt like it. Second, Im really starting to sour on movies that just dont tell me what the deal is? Are they a real couple or arent they? Was he really on Mars or just a dream? Did the totem fall on the table or keep spinning? For writers and directors to "let the audience decide" just seems lazy. All it does it set up message boards and chat rooms to endlessly and pointlessley argue over what really happened and since they didnt write the story there is no right answer.

I STAND ALONE (1998)
What's in a world? The magic. It's impossible to find a process to a have universal standard cliche of a human being mind. OK this one is totally weird and not business oriented. Remember this uncomfortable feeling after watching "Rebel Without a Cause" taking place in SoCal?

THE HOLY MOUNTAIN (1973)
GARBAGE! GARBAGE! GARBAGE! And.......... EVERYONE who says in any way shape or form that they like this movie, or calls it a great "film" or some other lame excuse for their "cultured sophistication," is also GARBAGE. The only reason these self-loathing white loser "film" making liberal "anything goes" idiots like these kind of movies is because they are trying desperately to forget their wonder bread upbringing, no matter how great it might have been despite the security and quality of it being right under their unthankful noses. This movie is SICK, and a SAD SAD commentary of how some pukes actually need to spend their time. And I'M not even religious!

THE BATTLE OF ALGIERS (1966)
Did not watch it. The film was just very old . So I can not rate it. This is just my opinion

Documentary

JULIAN ASSANGE: A MODERN DAY HERO? INSIDE THE WORLD OF WIKILEAKS (2011)
Wow, that was a huge and unrecoverable waste of time. Don't watch this if you have the will to live because it just sucks the life out of you. This just shows another idiot getting famous and rich. Here's your Paris Hilton Australia.

WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR? (2006)
Once again I feel that corproate America and the government had my best interests and kllled this car. As a AC technician and clean air consultant thousands of jobs like mine would have been lost and would have made America choose the difficult choice of doing what is right versus what is easy. Now I still make great money in San Fernando CA and my customers think I am a hero. Corporate America Rocks! The film was awesome, go heroes!

THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND (2002)
I was born in 65' and somehow seem to never know about these groups and what they were trying to voice by using violence against non-violence, was never mention in history books or talk about in any history class. It's weird for me to see history now, and knowing it happend when I was growing up. I think it's important to see the change in how the dealt with trying to stop the war with violence really did not work. If anything they only made headlines and help make jobs for clean up crews. If kinda funny that now people understand to make a change, they can just vote.

NO IMPACT MAN (2009)
Intriging to watch but not in a good way. Almost like how you cannot but "gawk" at a car accident. This man is way too strange. I felt bad for his wife when he decided that she could wear any cosmetics. As a woman, I would feel unprofessional going to work without my hair properly done and at least some make-up to highlight my features. Plus, not coffee ever would kill me. Argh. I consider myself a sort of "hippie-girl" and I didn't even relate to this film. WAY TO EXTREME!

GOD GREW TIRED OF US (2006)
Never received this movie so I never sent it back. What is going on? Please send it again. Are you certain I sent it back to you? Could you have made a mistake? We are elderly and there is only the two of us in our house.

Gay

THE SKIN I LIVE IN (2011)
This is a justified SPOILER ALERT for one reason and one reason ONLY! This is a warning to all heterosexual men that would normally get grossed out from watching anything having to do with transsexuality as a topic---Don't watch this movie! I wish I would've been warned just the same before I saw it. And as a disclaimer, this warning is not intended as an insult or affront of any kind to the the LGB community--it just grossed me out to high-hell, and I feel it's my duty to warn others. Keep your opinions about sexuality to yourself!

SHORTBUS (2006)
Way too gay!!. It was gross to see guys blow each other. I almost threw up.This movie should a dudes blow each other warning label on it. If you are looking for gay porn which is what ... 10% of our population then you might like this, but if you are straight I am sure that this movie will offend you. Frankly it disturbed me.

WEEKEND (2011)
I thought i was similar to brokeback mountain. it was okay. I am a straight wife just trying to understand gays.

Hollywood, etc.

YOUR HIGHNESS (2011)
The only thing "good" about this movie was it was made in 2011, don't rent it or you will be very disappointed as I was!

RABBIT HOLE (2010)
This movie had potential to be outstanding but the director chopped it up. If we had not seen the whole movie in one sitting we would not have been able to follow the story line. A dissappointment.

THE GREY (2012)
The premise of the movie was intriguing, so I decided to give it a watch. WOW! I can truly review this disaster in one word, HORRIBLE! The move failed on almost every level, there was zero character development, some of the worst dialog in recent memory ever recorded on film, not to mention the absolutely ridicules over use of the F-word (Literally 600+ times), and worst of all was the blatant hatred mocking of GOD!!! The movie was a TOTAL waste of time. I seldom write reviews, but this one is absolutely HORRIBLE! I felt it my duty (LOL) to warn everyone not to waste your time with this one.

TAPEHEADS (1988)
Ok so Where........will someone please tell me is Weird Al in this movie. I rented it just because of this claim. I couldn't find him. Can you?

ROBOCOP (1987)
robocop sounds like a great movie,my dad has seen it like 50 times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE BOUGHT A ZOO (2011)
Hope you like previews. I really wanted to watch this movie since I enjoy the cast and like these type of movies Unfortunately, the distributors have decided that you must watch their previews in order to watch their movie. Sorry but I don't have time.
Not happy with the rating of PG. Maybe I'm a little old school, but there were WAY too many "adultish" cuss words. The girl says the word associated with the male reproductive organ and the "s" word is flying constantly. I'm cool with PG rating and the "d" word every now and then, but this was over the top.

GAME CHANGE (2012)
For all of the big names in this one I was very disappointed. Leaving aside the factually inaccurate portrayal of the events, this one just falls flat. I have often thought that if Hollywood would leave their political views out of their movies then we all might be able to enjoy good movies again. I think this movie is just another Hollywood attempt to influence the political views of americans and less about entertainment. :( SAD Don't waste your time.

FAHRENHEIT 451 (1966)
I had been wanting to actually read this book since high school, but was too busy!!! I think I would not have appreciated it 20 years ago like I do now. With the advent of the "kindle" this could be a reality, the old always takes over the new, leaving only a selected few to remeber the way things used to be and work. Please keep reading books!!! and playing records, lol

EASTBOUND AND DOWN (2009-)
DVD didn't work on 4 out of 5 DVD players which is pretty annoying. One is imac, one a new laptop with dvd player, one dvd player that is about a year old, and the fourth admittedly an older one. It started on 5th DVD player in house but spouse is using that one.

THE OFFICE (U.S.) (2005-2013)
who cares what i have to say....im going out for a beer
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Published July 28, 2014


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sam Axelrod was born in New York City in the ’80s. He goes to college and is in a band called Future Of What. He lives in Brooklyn.


 

 

INCITE Journal of Experimental Media
Issue Number Five (Fall 2014)


 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

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